Navel Lint

Can’t remember anything from this weekend.  Pretty standard stuff.  Woman painted one set of toes pink.  Looks a bit fruity.

Had discussion with friend about the mysterious phenomenon known as belly button lint.  Navel lint, if you’re feeling wordy.

10 grueling minutes of research later, I have found its scientific explanation.  Turns out some guy in Australia did a bunch of research into it.  He is an Ig Nobel Prize winner.

Dr. Karl Kruszelnicki is a fucking cool guy.  Stolen from Wiki;

He holds degrees in Mathematics, Biomedical Engineering, Medicine and Surgery, and he has studied Astrophysics, Computer Science and Philosophy.  He has worked as a physicist, labourer, roadie for bands, car mechanic, film-maker, hospital scientific officer, biomedical engineer, TV weatherman, taxi driver, and medical doctor.

Ridiculous! 

The basic conclusions from his study were that belly button lint is made up of clothing fibers, dead skin and body hairs.  Most of the fibers move up from the underwear, which was contrary to his expectations.  Caused by “frictional drag of body hair” on underwear.  Women don’t get it as much as men.  Not even close.

Also said that lint is usually blue-gray hue.  Not sure if I completely agree with findings.  I used to have a red t-shirt that would produce a rocking little lint ball everytime. 

Usually, I give my belly button lint away as a present to lady friends.  It’s classy.  It says, “I care enough to make this for you with my body hair’s frictional drag on my underwear.  If you save enough of it, you can make a hat.” 

Don’t hold a candle to this motherfucker.  Graham Barker, Guinness World Record Holder for Navel Fluff Collection….

 

You sick bastard.  Interesting though.  Must have rocked green shirts till 1994 when he got into a red phase then returned to normalcy in 2001.  Considering how much money I would need to eat it all.  Would like to say large sum, but in college I drank 12 oz. of tabasco for $37.  Not worth it.  Threw up into toilet, and water splashed in eyes.  Was blinded and fell down cafeteria stairs in front of half the school.  Good times.

Eureka!  Mr. Barker claims that the color change was due to changing towel colors!  

Feel like I’m on a first name basis with these guys now.  My buddy Graham keeps a beard collection as well.  Here’s his sites; 

http://www.feargod.net/fluff.html    and  www.feargod.net/beard.php

Mystery solved.

On a different subject, if you ever get ahold of nose hair clippers and decide to trim up your nostrils, don’t mow down the whole forest.  They must serve some purpose even if they make an annoying whistling noise from time to time.  My nose has been uber fucked.

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