2 weeks

Tomorrow will be 2 weeks of not smoking for moi.  Not sure why I quit, just read this book and decided it’d be worth a shot.  The book is Allen Carr’s “Easy Way to Stop Smoking”, which has to be the most retarded title ever for a pretty useful bunch of pages.  I like that he’s not a doctor.  Can’t deal with doctors.  They don’t think like normal people.  Just a dude who used to rock 5 packs a day then quit cold turkey without any withdrawl.  My experience using his method was similar, but with only a paltry 2 packs per day habit.  How the fuck do you smoke 5 packs a day?

Guess I’ll go into observations regarding the difference between smoking and not smoking here.

#1-  A lotta people smoke here.

#2-  I’m 97% less irritable/angry as a non-smoker.  Keep getting into situations where I know I should be angry, but just can’t be bothered.  It’s bizarre.

#3-  All of you are fucking idiots.  Every single fucking one of you.  There’s no exceptions.  Whenever I tell someone that I stopped smoking, doesn’t matter if they’re young, old, male, adjumma, whatever… the response is always, “Why?”  Maybe I spoke too soon on not being irritable cause that shit makes me wanna spontaneously start face-fucking people.

#4-  As far as Koreans are concerned; gaining weight = greater evil than smoking.  My coworkers made this clear while gorging on pig fat.

#5-  Nobody really gives a shit if you stopped smoking.  It’s either “you shouldn’t have smoked in the first place” or “why you getting all high and mighty on me?”

#6-  I don’t care if people smoke around me.  Chain smokers bother me less than the occasional smoker.  Not sure why.  Just seem like posers.  If it’s worth doing then you should be doing it constantly.  Have some conviction. you pussies.

#7-  My students bitched, bitched, bitched about my smoking.  I stopped.  Now they’ve forgot about it.  Fickle pickle fuckers.  If I want to start again, I’m lighting up in class.

#8-  One of the big bonuses of stopping is supposed to be getting your sense of smell/taste back.  This is not a good thing here.

#9-  My newest game consists of watching TV.  Pretty simple start there.  Whenever I see an actor/actress smoking I give myself about 3 seconds to decide if they’re legit or a poser.  No real way to verify this, but it’s fun to criticize people on the boob tube for holding a fag like a… non smoker.

#10-  Free time.  This is a double edge sword.  If you figure it takes between 5 minutes to burn one down and you’re doing that 20-40 times/day, that’s somewhere around 100 to 200 minutes/day.  I’ve been filling the gap with naps.  Although my coworkers hate on my napping, which I’ll get into another time.  Ruthless bastards.

That’s about it for the list.  10 is a nice round number, ask anybody.


6 Responses to “2 weeks”

  1. C. Kirk Says:

    Two weeks is for fairies.

    • whiskeynexhaust Says:

      Captain Kirk just called me gay. I must note the star date of such a momentus occasion in the ship’s log.

  2. bravo Says:

    In a sense, I have to agree with C.Kirk in that IF you start smoking again, you never really quit, you just took a 2 week break.

    That said — good for you. I wanna quit. When I run, my lungs give out LONG b4 my legs do. I read that book years ago. I believe every word of it. I just like smoking.

    And like drinking, I seldom do either during the day. My students don’t know I smoke cuz I never smoke at school.

    But I smoke an entire pack between the hours of 10 pm and 1 am. Do it all the time. Sometimes roll down to Family Mart at 2 am to get more.

    I gotta quit smoking.

  3. Bobby McGill Says:

    I gotta quit too. There are too many things I associate with smoking –writing, telephone, after meals. Most def a psychological addiciton. On a 12 hour flight, I never cringe. In others words I am weak and lacking the will power to toss myself a life preserver.

    Here is to your third week.

  4. Gregarious Monk Says:

    C.Kirk is a dick. Part of the trouble if you quit is that so many idiots lay into you if you backslide. Don’t get stressed if you have a few on the way. Just start over quitting again until it sticks.

    That said, I’ve quit before for a year or so, on a couple of occasions and started again. I’m still smoking but I think I’ll give that book you gave me a try. I started reading it and it makes more sense than anything else I’ve seen.

    I’m like bravo, I almost never light up during the day and I’ve never had a real craving. I’ve also never craved a smoke on a 12 hour flight. It’s just some kind of psychosomatic thing I do when I’m bored or alone. I’m really not sure why I do it, I think it’s a pretty ugly habit.

    I’ll let you know when I finish the book and we’ll see how it goes.

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