ramble #1

March 3, 2009

I wouldn’t say that I’m ecstatic about starting a blog.  My current lot in life consists of entertaining Korean high school students 3-4 hours a day.  My job title is “English Teacher”, but to be honest, my main duty is to entertain my bored, overworked, disenchanted and at times glorious students.  Never been a fan of Jay Leno, although I admire his ability to consistently and enthusiastically give the same lame ass comedic delivery every night.  I think he knows he’s a hack, but who gives a shit when you have 200 cars and a bike with a jet engine in it.

As far as ESL jobs go in Korea, mine could be much worse.  I’ll say that, but I also spend an exorbitant amount of time pissing and moaning about how little use they make of my presence here.  It’s a “teach to the test” educational system and the fact that I’m not allowed to teach anything that would be on said test could be misconstrued as a complete fucking waste of my time and someones money.  Its not really though.  Some of my students actually benefit a great deal just from having me around, or that’s how I justify it to myself. 

I’ve been cooking a fair bit lately.  My homebrewing has come to a standstill for lack of a grain mill/fucking korean homebrew website that send me 35 kgs of barley uncracked.  Eat shit Kwebsite.  Last night I made chicken pasta puttanesca for my lady friend.  Have to say it was alright, that’s about the highest mark I’ll give myself on any of my cooking.  Now I can officially cook 4 things on the stove that don’t consist of cracking an egg into a pan.  It’s pretty spendy to cook western food here as the price of food, domestic and imported, is fucking ridiculous here.  Probably worth it though for sanity’s sake.  If I never eat pork again, it would be too soon.  Korean’s love them some pig fat… mmmmmm pig fat. 

No idea who I’m writing to here or why.  Maybe I’m just talking to myself, that seems to be happening more often these days.  Remember thinking my parents were really weird when I was younger for their constant verbalized monologues.  Must be hereditary.

The name of this (vomit in mouth a little)… blog, refers to my affinity for a nice glass of scotch and propensity for tearing ass around the city on my piece of shit, underpowered, electric blue motorcycle.  Shit, I can barely call a 125cc a motorcycle, but they’re cheap here and beats the piss out of taking the bus.  Buses here used to astound me.  It’s almost like there’s some sort of street racing by night/bus driver by day underground circuit here.  I’ve never seen it, but I’m sure some of the drivers piss out the window, NASCAR style, while chugging Baccus (Korean equivalent of Red Bull), yelling at their pit crew about their tires at 4 in the morning on some secret, gigantic track with 16 Daewoo big boys jockeying for poll position in the Busan Pro Fucking Bus Racing Circuit.  That’s a run on sentence, I’m pretty sure.  In short, they’re in a big hurry and they’re also not bus drivers.  They drive big Ferraris.

Whiskey.  A fairly recent new vice for me.  Maybe a year ago I’d only take shots on occasion, I prefered Jameson which made the cigarette after quite a bit tastier.  Not that I drink whiskey every day, but I’ll buy a glass or two at the bar when I go.  It has basically become my substitution for a (EDIT), although a strange one considering it’s the complete fucking opposite end of the spectrum. The only metaphor I can think of for that would be if you had a really nice pillow then pillows were no where to be found so you bought a giant amp that was cranking Swedish death metal and nuzzled your face into the knobs. That’s too extreme. 

I take a lot of cigarette breaks at work.  Some would say that you shouldn’t smoke around kids, especially high school kids, but if they’re gonna smoke they’ve already decided that.  Today, I’m smoking Marlboro Mediums.  Figure I’ll go with a harsher cigarette cause smoking 2 packs of 3mg cigs a day is tiresome.  My schedule at school leaves me loads, epic shit loads, of free time to stare at the computer screen which I am not particularly adept at.  I think I prefered it when cell phones were the size of newborns and computer screens were black with neon green shitty looking font.  Except for The Oregon Trail, that game rocked.  Apex of technology in my opinion.

As far as hobbies go I spend quite a bit of time watching movies.  I don’t think that really qualifies as a hobby per se.  I’d much rather brew some beer or build a chair or bbq some ribs.  Creation.  Most of the world’s or life’s glory can be found in the act of creation.  On the same note, most of innovation is driven by war.  Paradox.  I figure people just do what they do and as long as I don’t have to pay traffic tickets, it’s alright by me.

Realizing now that this narrative resembles a 3 year old’s firetruck drawing that’s been adorned by street pizza.  Never been a linear thinker.

The woman I’ve been seeing lately is wonderfully weird.  I could do without her constant nipple harrassment though.  Makes me queesy.